Starting Over
A few years back Wayne decided we needed to get away from the dreary winters in Seattle. The rain depressed him and he craved sunshine. I balked. Our children, grandchildren, our friends, my office, were all in Port Orchard. The rain didn’t bother me, and I dug in my heels until Wayne convinced me to give it a one month trial. I was sure I would hate it. I didn’t hate it– I tolerated it. After a month of sunshine and much deliberation we decided to purchase a condo in Florida.
Reluctantly I agreed to three months in Florida a year. We knew no one, and I was convinced I would be utterly miserable away from everything that was home and familiar. Every morning I had to pray for a good attitude and I’ll admit it took a while to adjust to life away from my children. As the years progressed, though, we made friends, joined a couple of clubs and I adjusted. Wayne thrives in the winter sunshine and I’ve written some of my best stories here in Florida. I won’t say it was easy to start over but the change was a good for us both. Today I love our Florida home and look forward to visits from the kids, grandkids and friends. Sometimes new beginnings have a way of sneaking up on you and blessing you in ways you never thought possible.
February 25th, 2016 at 11:42 pm
I think change is always difficult, especially as we age. I live in Florida and so do my parents but they live 1 1/2 hour away from me. It has come to a time in their lives where they really need to move closer to me so that I can help them more. It is going to be a very difficult move for Mom as they will have to considerably downsize. The first step is putting the house up for sale and with lots of prayer, I am hoping I can find a place for them that will make them both happy.
February 25th, 2016 at 11:59 pm
I am happy to say my starting over is beginning with the purchase of a condo in Port Orchard where we will spend our summers. I have loved the Puget Sound for years so it is a dream come true!
February 26th, 2016 at 12:13 am
We were just married, my Mom had passed away with breast and bone cancer at 47 , three days before we were married, and we followed good friends to Florida in our motorhome to Vero Beach and wound up staying there 4 l/2 years at a senior mobile home park called Southgate Village and was the most wonderful 4 l/2 years of our 38 years together before my darling passed away, we always loved going back to visit friends in Vero Beach, you land in a good place, glad Wayne persudaded you Debbie…you look wonderful in your weight loss and looking forward to receiving your newest book on my Ipad..
February 26th, 2016 at 12:14 am
We too have moved from deary weather for more sunshine in the south. We grew up in Western Pennsylvania
were the summers are short and winter was to cold and long. So 18 yrs ago after our sons had graduated and
moved on we sold our house and moved to East Texas. We never looked back. Missing our family and friends
was hard but making news ones has been a blessing. I can honestly say it was a good choose for us and we
have no regrets. It take courage to take such a big risk and it doesn’t always work out. But at least we were
not afraid to take a chance.
Love your books and looking forward to reading more no matter what state you are living in while writing.
Best Regards,
Sally
February 26th, 2016 at 12:15 am
The concept of change is a paradox for me! I have resisted change all my life, but have come to realize that it often invigorates me! Breaking out of the routine causes my creative side to flourish! My sense of humor comes alive! So maybe I am less resistant as I grow older, and can even begin to embrace the changes taking place at the point in my life!
February 26th, 2016 at 12:18 am
My husband became disabled at the age of 48 because of a massive heart attack. We live in Ohio but make Florida our winter home for 5 months out of the year. It is hard when all of our family is back in Ohio but the warm weather is better for him and he loves to fish and golf so we do what is best for him at our age. We miss our kids and grandkids. We have made friends and have a great church family so we’re not alone and I know there will come a day when we are not able to spend the winter in Florida so we enjoy it while we can. By the way, I love reading your books.
February 26th, 2016 at 12:35 am
I’ve started over three times. The fist time was 33 years ago when I got sober. The second time I married a man I met in AA. I knew him for 7 years before we married. The third time was after his death. We were married 22 years when he passed. I sold my Minnesota home and relocated to a 55 and over community in Florida. Each experience has strengthened me and now at 70 years of age I have entered a new stage. I am so blessed to have the love and support of family and my AA friends. I am financially able to help others, like my elderly sister who winters here with me so she doesn’t have to handle the hard Minnesota winters.
February 26th, 2016 at 12:39 am
I have had a change in my life in 2009 when I lost my job that I thought it was my life. Little did I know my family was my life, with a husband that said we will get through this and move on. I love life more that I am retired and can spend time with my grandchildren and come and go as I please. Help the church with many projects and love life in general.
February 26th, 2016 at 12:49 am
I love your blogs.
February 26th, 2016 at 1:05 am
My husband and I just of moved from a house to a 2 bedroom co-op. Boy talk about making adjustments . It’s very overwhelming . But slowly but surety we are settling in. We miss our home but now we don’t have to worry about shoveling and the steps and all the little problems we’ve had.
February 26th, 2016 at 1:28 am
We are facing a similar situation. I have gotten to the point where I can’t stand the bitter cold winters any more so we are looking for a house farther south. I know one person in the area we are looking at and I haven’t spoken to her in person since she graduated high school in 1983. So we are going to do this on faith. I honestly believe it will be a good change for both of us but it is scary right now.
February 26th, 2016 at 1:31 am
What a blessing it would be if you wrote a book about your move. Many of your readers face such a move. Your parent’s move and downsizing would help so many of us who grieved over the loss of “things” . How to go through this hard part of life with God on our side to make it easier.
February 26th, 2016 at 1:51 am
I concur completely. We stay in Florida 7 months & go back north to PA over the spring / summer. Our arthritis appreciates the winter warmth. As for the kids: they have their own lives. Why sit around waiting for them to call ? When they are not busy taking care of business, they also love to share our beachside condo, sun,sand & great activities. If we stayed up north & miserably endured the cold, it would not do them any good! They are happier to see us enjoying our “Golden Years”, instead of whining for them to entertain us?
February 26th, 2016 at 2:17 am
I am with you. I would miss my kids and granddaughter and friends. Familiarity.
Change is always hard unless you are the one prompting the change. haha
Good for you coming to love it. Its certainly makes for a happier life and marriage when
we try to compromise. And as you have proved, it turns out wonderful.
February 26th, 2016 at 2:34 am
It would be fun to read a series about moving to Florida and starting anew. It would be nice to hear about having a life after retirement of course it couldn’t all be about older people since young people have much more drama. I do love your books.
February 26th, 2016 at 2:44 am
I think that it’s a great idea to write about your move. I remember A Turn in the Road. I enjoyed it and you or the travelers in the book stopped in New Orleans got excited since I live near by. When I read your books be it Ceder Cove Blossom Street or Rose Harbor I feel like I’m there in in the book with the character. Lease keep writing I will meet you one day. One day I’d like to visit Port Orchard
February 26th, 2016 at 3:01 am
A Girl’s Guide to Moving On is probably the best book you’ve ever written. After I finished the book yesterday, I had a powerful sense that you had gone through a metamorphosis. The book is far more sophisticated, nuanced, and insightful that your earlier books. The relationships are more complex and interesting, and the dynamic between characters was quite familiar to me.
It took me by surprise, and I liked it very much.
February 26th, 2016 at 4:05 am
You have so perfectly described LOVE in a marriage. You compromised in what for you was a huge way (being away from children and grandchildren), and you did it with a determination to have a good attitude and give it a fair chance. CHANGE can be very hard, and I think you showed real love-in-action by looking out for your husband’s best interests. Thank you for sharing this glimpse into one of life’s difficult situations.
February 26th, 2016 at 4:14 am
My husband and I came to Florida after he retired and stayed for 3 months…We have a lot of relatives here so we mainly visited all of them…The following winter his sister, who lives in Port Charlotte was hit by Charlie, so we were asked to come to her house and help renovate…The house was literally gutted and redone. That was our second season here. and it was almost six months . At the end of that trip we looked around and found a small park model and we lived in Arcadia for the next twelve years and made many new friends….We now live in Naples , in another small mobile home and are hoping to be able to do this for at least a few more years…I really believe the weather has kept us going. I know we are more active here than in Ohio , where we spend our summers. Our children and grandchildren and great grandchild are in different parts of the country so they are living their busy lives and we do get to see them, but of course not as often as we would like…All I can say is We Love our family dearly , but at our age even though we would like a daily dose of kids it is not possible …So we learned to let go and are happy they are Happy in their lives…
February 26th, 2016 at 4:22 am
My parents did February and March in Florida until my Mother got sick! My Mother was in heaven! She was a very social person, and friends of their’s from PA, CT, and WI, were in the same area. Their condo was right on the Gulf, and she walked the beach every morning.
February 26th, 2016 at 4:38 am
My husband passed away in 2002 and it took 2 years for me to decide that I had to make a change. My children were grown and had moved to the Central Florida area from South Florida. I quit my job, sold my house and moved to Melbourne Florida. I am centrally located to all my family, have a smaller house, found a part-time job and have lots of friends.
February 26th, 2016 at 4:47 am
There are different times in our lives that we start over and usually more than once. My husband of 30 wonderful years died suddenly of a heart attack and I had to start over living and doing things on my own. I learned that if I am not willing to change I am not living to my fullest. I just retired and I am living in Arizona where I have two kids and grandkids but because of the changes I have endured I am able to make a change again (starting over) so I am looking for a place in Michigan where I have three childhood girlfriends (since I was 5) that I will be able to enjoy. Looking to find an old house and redo. I want no regrets and I am sure I will endure more changes through the coming years. This has not been easy because I did not like change. Starting over is being willing to make changes and live life to your fullest. Go go live everyone.
February 26th, 2016 at 6:20 am
I am actually making a major move in my own life. I have decided to move away from my family to Southwestern Colorado. This is an area I lived in with my husband and we started raising our children there, Now, 15 years after we moved away, I am now divorced, the kids are on their own and I have decided to make this move for myself. It is kind of scary to move by myself but I also know that I can do this. Starting over can be challenging but it also gives you a chance to grow and become who you truly want to be.
February 26th, 2016 at 8:08 am
I didn’t move with my husband, but moved from Roy, UT over 800 miles away from my children and grandchildren to come back to my original home here in Port Orchard to reunited with my high school sweet heart. There have been some days of serious depression but I’m so happy to be back with the love of my life. I’m also able to help take care of my elderly mother. I miss my babies and grandbabies terribly but do make it to my Utah home 3 to 4 times a year (not enough)
I actually wrote you a thank you note, several years ago about your Cedar Cove novels, that they helped me feel like I was home while living in Utah.
I’ve seen your office here and have thought about stopping by to say hello and tell you our story. I want to write it, even if nothing but for our children and grandchildren. People tell us that it would be an sweet movie.
Thank you for your wonderful loving stories.
February 26th, 2016 at 10:22 am
love your message…..we used to go for just a week…could not stay any longer…self employed..loved it and so did my body..but hubby is not a hot weather person….but he was kind enough to take me….loved it….to visit…not to live there….Tennessee is a wonderful place to live …..so here we are……loving it……Hope you have a good ////warm winter….looking forward to new book….love to you and yours…K
February 26th, 2016 at 2:30 pm
We vacationed in Florida one time and I was so totally unhappy with everything that we encountered, that I swore I would never go back there. I might be willing to winter somewhere, but I live in Texas and our climate is mild. I don’t need to go anywhere for the climate. I am not a water person, and I can do without sand. That only leaves activities and if you give me a good book I am happy.
February 26th, 2016 at 3:06 pm
I agree change is hard, but it is all in your thoughts and how you think…If you are not looking for the positive, you will not find it. We started over 16 years ago from a City to a very small mountain community, our kids absolutely loved it. I on the other hand was never in snow, dirt roads, no shopping etc. I can honestly say when I changed my thoughts, I saw the beauty. I do not mind driving an hour to get groceries or other supplies. I actually look forward to the snow after 16 years and would never go back to a city again to live. I had to look through my children’s eyes and see the possibilities not the lack of commodities.
February 26th, 2016 at 3:47 pm
We have been coming to Ft. Myers Beach since before it was an incorporated city. I’m one of 10 kids, and our family tree sports about 450 names. It was not easy to leave all of that, but it’s been a Blessing for both our health and our marriage. It’s now over 30 ears as “Snowbirds” and we now consider ourselves part time citizens. Each year we try to add a day or two to our stay. Have read ALL your books, and eagerly await every new issue. Started rereading all my older collection, and they’re still GREAT THANKS!
February 26th, 2016 at 4:16 pm
In 2014, after living in Bremerton, Wa for 32 yrs, we decided retirement in the PNW rain was too depressing. I had sister in Az so we research the possibility of moving to be near someone we knew, found a home we liked and made the decision to move south. We left our kids, grand-kids and great-grand-kids behind. I miss them every day but I knew they all had lives to live and only saw them sporadically throughout the year. We love it here and have the hopes that everyone will come see us at some point. Except for missing my family, I am no longer depressed and get out in the beautiful sunshine ‘everyday’ so life if good!
February 26th, 2016 at 4:17 pm
we will be doing this in a few months, and like you it will be aan adjustment.. but looking forward to warmer weather and will not miss the new england snow
February 26th, 2016 at 4:43 pm
change is hard– I know it all too well– over 40 years we have moved across country to graduate school in Idaho, then to Olympia where DH took first job for 6years . Later we transferred to Yakima – which I hated on sight. It was too brown and dry for me and like you it took me a long time to adjust. I already was a long ways from family back East, which was hard with constant homesickness . I finally realized with 2 small children, I needed to find something wonderful about this town. I began to find what was good living here and found it -Library was a saving point ,then outside swimming pools and the sunshine was in abundance– we do have sunshine here and many days to enjoy the outside and close to mtns – now 32 later I love it and all that Yakima has to offer ,as its a wonderful place to live.
February 26th, 2016 at 4:59 pm
I was also reluctant to leave home and family and spend a few months in Florida. I missed everyone and church. I prayed the first time I went to church that God would give me just one new friend and no surprised to God I walked into a room and a very nice couple asked me to join them. We became friends and that was a few years ago. When I leave and go back to Ohio I miss them, church and other friends I have made. But, when I get home, family, friends and church are all there like I never left. Also many from my family come and visit and thus far someone has been here almost every week from home. I am blessed. That is my word for this year and I had it engraved on a leather bracelet as a reminder. God is Great and I am blessed.
February 26th, 2016 at 5:08 pm
In my 60’s I decided to make a very profound change in my life. I am now single and learning to live my life alone. Surprise…I have met many wonderful people, have a home I enjoy and I’m doing things I never believed I would. My children are grown but no matter where I am, we communicate. All I can say is that change is scary, but you will never make anything of yourself until you take that first step. Glad to hear you listened to him and tried it!
February 26th, 2016 at 6:08 pm
Being a Washington native myself, I totally know what you mean about the dreary winters that seem to stretch from October to May. My husband and I are actually prepping to relocate to the Southeast in the next few years because I am just done. Eight weeks of beauty in the Summer is just not enough to offset anymore. As far as starting over, I really appreciated your story. It will definitely be a big change when we do, but we are planning ahead.
February 26th, 2016 at 7:36 pm
I think it’s great you get a chance for some warm weather. Its hard to adjust away from our children and grandchildren but it gives you and Wayne a chance to meet new friends and have new experiences! Pkus, maybe new experiences to use in your upcoming books. Enjoy Debbie!
February 26th, 2016 at 9:40 pm
Dear Debbie, what a great idea to purchase a home away from home if your health permits and you love life, making new friends at our age not always easy but you have a very unique personality and it shows through your chosen words in your books just had my 71st birthday February 23rd and love reading every single books + many more in 2016 I have read many books in my last 50 yrs but if I had to choose my favorite author Debbie Macomber I am positive all your fans would agree……. May God Bless You and keep your family safe and again what a joy and blessing your grandson will someday be very proud and honored of his grandmother achievements.
February 27th, 2016 at 2:10 am
I’m with Wayne.
February 27th, 2016 at 4:28 am
My husband’s doctor suggested he think about going somewhere warm to escape the Michigan winters, for his health’s sake. When he first broached the subject, I wasn’t sure I could leave my three daughters and my grandchildren for that long. So, I did agree to try it for two months. We found a nice little home to rent in a quiet subdivision here in Hudson, Florida. The weather was great, even when it got cooler because the sun always seemed to be shining. We were both enjoying everything Florida had to offer, including many trips to my favorite place on earth, Disney World. For five years, we rented this house each wi ter, staying longer each year. Now, we own a lovely double wide in a nice park and we spend about seven months down here. And as Tom had predicted, the kids came, and the grandchildren came to visit us here. We enjoy cruising the aribbean islands, flying off to St. Martin for our anniversary each October, and showing g our family or friends a good time when they come to visit. Now, we are ready to find a house, hopefully with a pool,so we can move our lives down here. The kids are all on their own and doing quite well,so it seems like the right time for the next chapter in our lives. Then, we can be the ones visiting the kids and grandchildren in the Spring and Summer. Plus, we will have more room for visitors. The “Golden Years” are looking pretty promising.
February 27th, 2016 at 6:40 am
South, west, east, north. I am going west. Had enough of the horrible heat and humidity on the east, north and south. I have taken back roads all the way. I need balance. I feel I have done All I can for Veterans, change laws, Homelessness, start non profit, serve on Federal medical board, property appeals, state the first law for women in my state. Just want time to listen and watch the beauty of this earth. I have been to SXSW. I am amazed everyday all the empty towns, building, homes left in ruin. So housing, transportation and technology issues. Besides, paint, draw, dance, sing, write, read, research, maybe a garden, cook, make things, decorate, and enjoy animals, live flowers and fruit trees, and people. Maybe a farm or ranch. I am in my senior years. I want not to ache from the heat or cold. I love the Cedar Cove series and my Veteran mother loved watching it. Being peaceable with family is fine. Having the pleasure of going to seeing landmarks, fishing, art, museums, amazes me. Adventure is exciting. Enjoy driving the roads now. I love the trains. Seeing the backyards tells me columns of stories. Thank you for entroducing me to your movies after all theses years. I even went to a library to see if I could find audio on the road.
February 28th, 2016 at 4:22 pm
I was born and raised in NJ. 42 years ago I moved to South Florida. We had no phone and
I had no contact with my family for 3 years. There was the occasional phone call at the
Nearby phonebooth. Dumping quarter after quarter in the coin slot to call my Mom or
Brother and let them know I was okay. I love South Florida now. My daughter lives in
Tallahassee and my 1st Grandchild is there but I can’t seem to leave the home I have had
For so many years. I travel a lot for work and haven’t spent a winter in South Florida in
Almost 10 years but it’s only 4 more years to retirement. I can wait. 🙂 I love your books
And have read almost all of them. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, words and ideas.
February 29th, 2016 at 3:04 am
Yes change is always hard, I recently moved to be closer to my daughter and family. Seeing the grandson more made it all worth it. I knew it would be difficult, but you meet new friends. You never forget your true friends no matter where you are. I miss my church friends I am now looking for a new church family. Who knows I may move again some day to be closer to my son. Enjoy life!
March 3rd, 2016 at 6:17 pm
I was born and raised in Texas and where I lived it hardly ever rained but when it did we had AMAZING thunder/lightning shows and it poured!! I went from there to Japan – hello TSUNAMIS!! – where my second son was born and then back to Texas – ahhh, the sweet joy of not having to worry about whether or not you were going to get washed out into the Ocean just by stepping outside! I then moved to Germany where there is so much drizzle – where is the actual RAIN?!? I moved back to Japan for a few short months and then somehow I ended up in Oregon (RAIN, SUN, SNOW, RAIN, RAIN, SUN, RAIN – all in one hour). I definitely understand how miserable the rain can be and what it’s like to yearn for the sun. SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) is a real issue in this part of the country and even more so for those that are here in the women’s prison (that’s where I work). Some days I long for those Texas storms, where you could sit back and just enjoy the show. I consider moving back all the time but for my children, Oregon is home so for now this is where I’ll stay. Happy, content…and a little bit soggy!
March 3rd, 2016 at 7:29 pm
I AM NOW 90 YEARS OLD AND A WIDOW. I LIVE IN NEW SMYRNA BEACH, FL 25 MILES SOUTH OF DAYTONA BEACH. I
LOVE IT HERE AS I AM DISABLED NOW WITH SYSTEMIC LUPUS AND A FALL RECENTLY LEFT ME WITH BAD KNEES.
MY HUSBAND WAS TRANSFERRED HERE FROM BALTIMORE MD IN 1963 WHICH IS HOW I GOT HERE.BUT I WILL NEVER LEAVE AS THE WEATHER AGREES WITH ME I HATE LIFE WITHOUT MY BEST FRIEND…WE WERE MARRIED 68 YEARS. BUT I KNOW WE WILL BE REUNITED IN HEAVEN AND I LOOK FORWARD TO THAT REUNION
I GET MY BOOKS FROM TALKING BOOKS (LIB OF CONGRESS) AND I BELIEVE I HAVE READ OR LISTENED TO EVERY BOOK DEBBIE M HAS WRITTEN TO DATE ANYONE WHO WOULD LIKE TO VISIT I DO HAVE A NICE GUESTROOM SO JUST WRITE TO ME. LH
March 7th, 2016 at 9:41 pm
I enjoyed reading a couple of your books in the past year and was delighted today to discover you are from the Pacific Northwest. I am a native Oregonian, married for 40 years to an avid amateur astronomer. I have followed along with my husband in his search for dark skies. Central and Eastern Oregon is really a high desert climate and much warmer and drier than the valley or coastal parts of the NW. I have learned to love the stars and observing them in remote areas. We volunteered as campground hosts in Chaco Canyon, AZ one summer We are active in Rose City Astronomers club and attend star parties all over the USA.. Last year we spent 2 months showing the night sky to guests at Sossusvlei Desert Lodge in Namibia. One evening in the dining room, the night butler and I were surprised by the slithering sound of a snake coming out from behind the drapes. We threw water on it hoping it would exit but sadly I had to kill a 6 ft. long spitting cobra with a broom handle.. I would not have had exciting adventures like that if I stayed in my comfort zone! I found one of your books on a bus to ZImbabwe and couldn’t put it down. I read it on the plane from Johannesburg back to the US. Your characters are so relatable and there is a positive underlying tone that affirms women’s inate resourcefulness. Without being obvious or pushy, you confront some critical social issues and leave the reader feeling hopeful that life is more than just surviving and setteling. You write and apparently live in a way that models embracing change. After working for many years as a counselor and advocate, I have listened to the heartwrenching stories of abused women and children. I know how a work of fiction can mirror life and can often spark hope and shape dreams for your readers whom are survivors. I believe your writing has a healing touch. May God Bless you for that and give you the strength and light to continue creating situations and characters that lift up women and children. We all need examples of how to confront challenges and live hopeful authentic lives that are Iiberally seasoned with tears and joy!
March 7th, 2016 at 10:03 pm
Some story ideas for the future: Single parent raising a child who is on the Autism spectrum. People who struggle with hoarding and OCD, you would not believers what is behind the doors of many people’s houses… and in storage units… Opiate and RX drug abuse by middle class families… being in love and trying to make a marriage work with an Aspergers partner. Women veterans with PTSD, Now those issues touch a surprising number of lives and they all take so much ccourage to overcome.