The Truth About Romance.
Wayne does not have a romantic bone in his body. One would think after all these years he’d have this romance thing down pat. He tries though, and I’m sure I’ll find a use for that Swiss Army Knife he got me recently (and he was so proud of himself)! There are never flowers or chocolates from him. The real gift from my husband and something that has kept our marriage fresh and vibrant is his ability to make me laugh. Wayne has the funniest dry wit of anyone I’ve ever known. He loves me, our family, God and country. He supports and encourages me, he believes in me, and really that is far more important than any gift he could buy, even a Swiss Army Knife.
Posted on February 13, 2016 in Blog
February 13th, 2016 at 5:43 am
Thank you for your stories. They help me escape when I need to de-stress, but they also remind me that I am a very lucky woman who is blessed with a loving husband, family, and friends. Your books remind me not to take little hiccups in life too seriously. My husband and I have tried starting a family for the past 5 years through fertility treatments. We are now moving on to the journey of adoption. We are not sure what God has planned for this one, but I know he will be sitting next to me during the long and bumpy ride…
February 13th, 2016 at 3:08 pm
Perfect story. You never know when you might need to use that can opener. I would rather have a single rose, or flowers, bought “just because”, not on a holiday, than a dozen over-priced roses on Valentine’s Day. For the record, we just celebrated our 50th anniversary on New Year’s Eve 2015. I think I will keep my “soldier boy”, now a retired Army SFC (1961-1982). I could write a lot more on the nice things he does, but this will suffice for now. We are both lucky ladies.
February 13th, 2016 at 3:35 pm
It is not the gift that is important. I have found over the years that my husband, who says he is not romantic either, gives me the best gift of love….laughter. It is something that will not die, and touches my heart each day!
We enjoy silence, laughter, at times tears, but the love is underneath it all. Would not trade him for anything!
Alvinia Proffitt
February 13th, 2016 at 3:42 pm
Loved this. I got a frying pan one year. But he could make me laugh. He passed away 10 years ago but this year would have been our 50th anniversary. Thank you for the frying pan memory.
February 13th, 2016 at 3:43 pm
Debbie, You have a gem, and it is so fantastic that you know it, and appreciate his more necessary qualities. My husband was very romantic when we were dating. When we returned from a very short Honeymoon, there were one dozen white roses waiting for me. Loved them so much, really the thought behind them. The next day, I sat him down a told him that although I loved the added attention in the form of all his ‘tokens’ it was time to buckle-down and save for a home. No more gifts, I explained, we have eachother, that is enough. I preceeded to say, when you see me really NEEDING a pick-me-up, go ahead. I also made sure he understood I would do the same for him. It has worked for 33 years, and is still how we do things.
February 13th, 2016 at 3:52 pm
I love this! It’s the thought behind the gift! My husband and I didn’t exchange cards or gifts on Valentine’s Day. Instead we wrote each other a Valentine letter followed by a candlelight dinner at home! He passed 5-1/2 years ago, but I still write him a Valentine note every year!
February 13th, 2016 at 3:54 pm
Love the Swiss Army knife thing 🙂
I think if you look at it Debbie, he understands romance alright. You described a lot of the men in your books when you described Wayne.
I’d rather some real serious cuddle time on Valentines Day instead of a gift. Wayne IS the gift.
Yo won at life when you married him Debbie.
February 13th, 2016 at 3:54 pm
Isn’t it wonderful that together you allow each other to grow with love! I am happier with a rock at my feet than diamonds wrapped around my neck! (Stolen moment from a current commercial) Hooray for the Swiss Army Knife!
February 13th, 2016 at 3:58 pm
HE IS DEFINITELY THE GREATEST GIFT.
February 13th, 2016 at 4:54 pm
I have to say the exact same things about my dear husband of 43 years. One of the best things about him is how often he makes me laugh and laugh at myself. Romantic love is great, but perhaps a bit overrated in day to day life. It’s really all the other things that make the journey GREAT. (An occasional bouquet or sparkly bauble would not be sneezed at tho’ 🙂 .)
February 13th, 2016 at 5:24 pm
I have a hubby just like that. Sometimes you have to overlook the little things and just enjoy the whole package. We have been married 53 years and together since high school. Can’t ask for more.
February 13th, 2016 at 5:51 pm
It seems like his lovable traits are the equivalent of a Personality’s Swiss Army Knife…a tool for every need.
February 13th, 2016 at 5:56 pm
You also described my husband, Rich. Flowers? “They’re just going to die!” Candy? “I thought you were on a diet!” But he is kind, considerate and thoughtful. I would come home and find something fixed that I never asked him to fix, but he did it anyway. He is also a wonderful Dad to our three girls, who all left home with a tool box filled with tools that he taught them how to use! I couldn’t ask for more either.
February 13th, 2016 at 5:57 pm
My hubby just hates to shop, he will probably take off in the morning and get a card, maybe a plant or flower,
Because he thinks he is suppose to. I use to be envious of my friends that got flowers and sweet messages
At work. I longed to have those sweet nothings whispered in my ear. I wanted others to see how much John
Loved me. I have to laugh now as I am going through long days of feeling ill from chemo. My rock is doing dishes
And laundry and running to the store for needed meds or foods etc. God gave me just the husband I needed and
He is faithful and at my side, supporting and encouraging…I am blessed!
February 13th, 2016 at 5:59 pm
Having a husband that supports you and encourages you is far more important to receive than any box of chocolates or bouquet of flowers. Debbie, you a very blessed to have him in your life and he is very blessed to have you in his.
February 13th, 2016 at 6:06 pm
Debbie, I’m sure your Wayne is a lot like my husband Bill, or my Father Ben. You may not get chocolates and flowers once a year, but you get something a whole lot better. Like me, you get gas in the gas tank, air in your tires, the trash taken out every evening, the snow shoveled and the car cleaned off, the gutters cleaned out, the spiders caught and taken outside, doors opened, bags carried, and bills paid. I’d rather have an everyday husband than a once a year Valentine, don’t you? Hope to see you in St Louis the end of the month.
February 13th, 2016 at 6:28 pm
Good sense of humor, faithful, (as far as I know, if someone knows different, I would appreciate it if it was kept to themselves), he is intelligent, helped me learn about computers, our boat, rentals, & so on & so on. Valentine gift? No, unless his daughter tells him to get something, or his daughter shops for him.
Miriam Shirley
February 13th, 2016 at 7:00 pm
It sounds like your husband will love you for the rest of his life!
Happy Valentines Day to both of you ? ❤️
Judy Scott
February 13th, 2016 at 8:33 pm
My Husband is the same. my first Valentines was a rug.More importantly is that he is practical.
February 13th, 2016 at 9:42 pm
My hubby is the same as yours. He hates to shop although he has occasionally bought me flowers. His idea of being romantic is emptying the dishwasher and helping in the kitchen. ? But he is very kind, witty and has a heart of gold. ???
February 13th, 2016 at 9:59 pm
Sounds like my husband, lol. I wouldn’t change him for anything. Fancy things don’t even compare to the love of your guy and his faithfulness.
February 13th, 2016 at 10:08 pm
Happy Valentines to both of you and many more to the original Valentine couple..in my estimation. God’s Blessings to you both.
February 14th, 2016 at 2:25 am
You Said it all Debbie, what really matters. Happy Valentine Day to you and your family. God Bless.
Ardie & Harvey Scott
February 14th, 2016 at 3:55 am
You don’t need one commercially dictated day for romance! Loving every day as you and your husband seem to do (and what we do) is far more important!
February 14th, 2016 at 3:34 pm
My husband is similar…He gave me the most beautiful card imaginable, (no, it didn’t cost a fortune, it was the sentiment that made it absolutely perfect)…He offered to buy me roses but the card was perfect and it was from his heart. Don’t need roses that soon will die and fade away!
February 14th, 2016 at 4:17 pm
Beautiful thoughts, Debbie. Made me smile. 🙂
Happy Valentine’s Day to you and yours!
February 14th, 2016 at 5:04 pm
I remember when he got his Mom a new set of hubcaps for mothers day. You can’t love a mom more than that.
February 14th, 2016 at 5:17 pm
I will turn 65 this year and I am taking a long look at my life. Being overweight, I have always dealt with all the insecurities that goes with that. So believing I didn’t deserve better, I was with one man since I was 16 and spent all that time trying to make him happy, He cheated and divorced me when I was in my fifties.
It is only now I realize you can’t make someone happy. Counseling had taught me a great deal about love and marriage, so here I am at this age realizing I have never had someone love me in any form,
I know Romance novels are fiction but they have taught me so much about loving and being loved. Now I wish the divorce would have happened much sooner so I might have met someone else. I now long to love and be loved……and i feel it is too late.
None of us are perfect so if you are loved in all the ways he knows how, then I would treasurer the gift of a Swiss Army Knife.
Happy Valentine’s!
February 14th, 2016 at 5:39 pm
A man who is supportive and makes you laugh?? A keeper indeed. You hit the jackpot, Debbie, but I’m certain you know that. Happy Valentine’s Day.
February 15th, 2016 at 1:12 am
Debbie you are so lucky. Your Wayne is such a hoot. God bless you both, Hope you’re having fun in the sunshine state.
February 15th, 2016 at 5:23 pm
I love the Swiss army knife. You will definitely find a use for it. It’s seems a Strang gift. But just think, it’s what he would have bought for himself and he gave it you.
February 16th, 2016 at 1:58 pm
My husband Jerry and I have been married 21 years. We dated in High School, parted, and had families. Life and death happened, We met again, 36 years later, picked up where we left off and have had a wonderful life. On our 2nd Christmas together, he gave me a watch with diamonds, he was always giving me jewelry. I told him he had to stop buying jewelry for me. He did. In 2009 I bought a Valentine with a big heart on the front, the words in the heart were “Sometimes I wonder why I put up with you”, Opening the card it reads “Oh yeah, now I remember, You put up with me”. I believe this should be everyone’s mantra. We give the card to each other every Valentines Day, and put the date on it. It’s been recycled 7 years, and will continue to be our message to each other. We find something to laugh about every day, I think that is important. Of course we have moments when we need space, but we always come back together. I didn’t mean for this to be so wordy, just wanted to tell you thanks, I enjoy your books and to keep writing.
February 23rd, 2016 at 6:07 pm
I once had a friend whose husband bought her a dozen red roses every single Saturday. At the same time I had a beau who would bring me a small bag of roasted almonds from Morrows Nut House “just because”, and who picked up a bottle of my favorite salad dressing on trip to SF because you could not buy it on the East Coast. I know which one I thought (and still think) is the most romantic. Chocolates and roses and other stuff like that are nice – and can be romantic – but to me true romance is caring and sharing the day to day stuff. Sort of like that old song “touch my hair, as you pass my chair, little things mean a lot”. That is true romance.